Missions and Marriage

Life is beautiful :) So I decided to go on a mission! I have decided that I can get married, or I can go on a mission AND get married. I can’t just prepare for both because if I do, I won’t go on a mission, because my heart’s going to pull me a certain way. If I gave my all, 100% towards going on a mission, the Lord would tell me if I should stay and get married. Whereas if I decided to get married, Heavenly Father’s not going to say no. So I want to go, and I’m going to start preparing!!! I’m meeting with my branch president this weekend to start the process :)
Stephen has been nothing but wonderful. At first it was a bit hard to digest (for the both of us), but he is so supportive and excited for me! Ah I’m so blessed!
It's crazy. Even though there are so many things going wrong (like my pilonidal abscess coming back and needing surgery, and being in china through it all, and needed to get physicals, and figure out how I’m going to pay for a mission, and figuring out how to make sure I'm focusing on the Lord, and focusing on the present, and all the other things with school and the culture), I feel so calm and so at peace, I'm not worried at all! You can call it the greatest tender mercy I’ve ever received. It's so rewarding! I can just feel Satan trying to use the fear factor on me. It's worked in every instance in the past to drag me down. But coming to China has taught me beyond belief that fear does not come from God, and that it's all in His time, and in His hands. I need not fear at all! Satan's gonna have to change his tactics :)